Autumn

Autumn

 

Dreams have escaped through the window, outside which I can hear the birds chirping.
The window is open and I’m breathing in the brisk early morning air.
The branches of the tree outside are growing higher and in a few years will invite themselves inside the house.
But we won’t be waking up here anymore then.
Somebody else will be dreaming their dreams in this bedroom…
I turn my head towards the window and see the soft sun rays and the leaves shivering in the wind.
Cold, pervasive, annoying wind which brings Autumn.
Time to take our coats out of the wardrobe.

‘A Little Life’, Hanya Yanagihara

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New York City. Who wouldn’t like to live, study and work here…Great city with thousand stories to hear, ‘concrete jungle where dreams are made of’ as Alicia Keys put it in her song. Among all these emerges the story of four friends shown from different angles, narrated by various characters that touched me so much that after finishing it, every time I opened a new book and started to read it, I had to put it down as I was still under the impression of the mesmerizing story of an amazing friendship.
No other book has played on my emotions as much as this one. It left me tearful so many times that I wanted to put it away, as I couldn’t handle the harshness of the described events. The sadness, the unbearable fear of being rejected, the loneliness created by the author when she tells the story of a boy abandoned in the worst possible way bring up a question: Is it possible for one man to go through so many horrifying ordeals? Or is it a way of emphasizing the fact that no matter what has happened in our life we could survive, as long as we have a devoted friend/s by our side?
For me, this book is a manifestation of friendship and makes me question myself: Wha kind of a friend am I?

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FEAR

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You planted
the fear in your head
You water it with thoughts of other people
that you don’t even know exist
You cultivate its soil with the future failures
that you already predicted
It then grows branches that reach your heart
which beats and beats faster
You try to stop them from sprouting
But the fear
gets nourished
with the words
never uttered.

(Aug 2018)

 

Regina Brett, BE THE MIRACLE

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The main message of the book is to never give up.
…. I know. You might have heard this so many times before that it started to become an empty slogan. But when you read some of the stories included in the book, you might change your perception of these words.

‘Be the miracle’ is divided into 50 chapters which the author calls lessons. And they are truly lessons of how to make our life better. The stories included in the book are quite emotional, as they are the stories of real ordinary people; the kind of people I meet every day, which makes the book so reliable.
And, I think that this is the aim of Regina Brett. She wants to convince the reader that those little things we do every day, such as smiling to somebody, asking how they are, offering help, listening to them make our life better and change the way we perceive the world that surrounds us.

I am not going to describe every lessons that the author included in her book, but I would like to share with you some of my thoughts on its content.

Do you think that it is always somebody else who is luckier, happier, more prosperous than you?
Do you think that others’ lives are better than yours? Oh, yes, most of you will say: ‘Of course!’. The question that comes to mind is ‘why?’; Why it is me that seems to be so unlucky?
And then the blaming mantra starts: we blame God, destiny or other people, as we are so convinced that the happiness is some kind of outside phenomenon. Nothing more far from the truth!
I must admit that it took me a long time before I realised that the happiness is really created by myself and the way I perceive my life with all its ups and downs depends entirely on me.

For some of you who has learnt something about mindfulness before, Regina’s lessons would be a kind of a guide that introduces its methods to life.
For example, a lesson of gratitude. It teaches how to be thankful for what we have achieved and have at this moment and tells us that instead of dwelling on our failures and bad moments we should concentrate on the good things in life. This might sometimes be quite hard, as we either concentrate on the negative situations or do not have time to spare to think about what made us happy during our busy days. Continue reading

Anima Gemella

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Anima Gemella

Like a spider shaping its delicate yet solid web

We weave our friendship from thousands words

written day after day.

Hundreds roads to reach you…

And the fear that one day it may disappear

Like the thin net destroyed  by a stick

struck by a child.

 

(2017/2018)

Is this me?

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Is this me?

Looking out of the window

she can see her future:

long hours of longing for

life she will never have,

her smile disappearing

like a fish in  deep cold water…

All that matters

is to leave the room,

which – like thoughts –

keeps her trapped.

(2013, with the help of B.G.)

Tom Hodgkinson, ‘The Idle Parent’, “Być rodzicem i nie skonać”, EN//PL

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EN

I started reading ‘The Idle Parent’ when I was pregnant and hadn’t really delved into ins and outs of upbringing my offspring yet. Being so engrossed in everyday life at that time I put it away and came back to it just recently. I’m glad that I could finish it now, as it  made me realized something important.
So far my motherhood has been like chase of thoughts: does my little one need something at the moment? Do I provide him with proper entertainment? Do the toys I bought him help with his development? Do I devote enough time to him? I could go on forever…What I didn’t ask myself was a substantial question, ‘Do I derive joy from motherhood? Do daily hassles allow me to enjoy being a mother?
This book makes me aware how my mood reflects on upbringing a happy child and tells how to change it in a positive way.
The author, a father of three, expresses his point of view on public education, family days out and holidays, children’s entertainment, hard-working as well as ubiquitous consumerism. He also gives examples of books that should be read to children. According to the writer, parenthood doesn’t have to be exhausting, quite the contrary, can be joyful and funny. In his book one can find an advice on how to keep a child entertained in a creative and interesting way. What is more, it encourages parents to set a good example of serenity and being happy with what they have instead of constant pursuit of goods that could be bought and would keep their child busy.

I really enjoyed reading ‘The Idle Parent’ and I hope that I will manage to put some of Tom Hodgkinson’s ideas into practice.

***

PL

‘ rodzicielstwo na luzie ma polegać na szukaniu przyjemności i radości, a nie na poświęcaniu się’

   Zaczęłam ją czytać, gdy byłam w ciąży i jeszcze tak bardzo nie zagłębiałam się  w tajniki wychowywania mojego potomka. W natłoku obowiązków odłożyłam ją na bok i cieszę się, że tak zrobiłam, ponieważ przeczytanie jej akurat teraz pomogło mi uprzytomnić sobie coś ważnego.
Jak do tej pory moje macierzyństwo to ciągła pogoń myśli, czy aby moje dziecko czegoś nie potrzebuje; czy dostarczam mu właściwej rozrywki; czy zabawki, które kupuję są odpowiednie, aby się prawidłowo rozwijało; czy poświęcam mu dostatecznie dużo czasu…Mogłabym wymieniać w nieskończoność. Ale nie zadałam sobie istotnego pytania: czy ja czerpię z tego macierzyństwa radość? Czy w ferworze dnia codziennego potrafię cieszyć się z tego, że jestem mamą?
Ta książka uświadomiła mi, jak ważne jest samopoczucie rodzica w wychowaniu szczęśliwego dziecka i podaje przykłady, jak to dobre samopoczucie można uzyskać.
Autor, ojciec trójki dzieci, pisze między innymi o tym, co myśli o powszechnie dostepnej edukacji, wspólnych wypadach, zabawach, zapracowaniu,                         o wszechobecnej konsumpcji oraz podaje przykłady książek, które rodzice powinni przeczytać dzieciom. Według niego rodzicielstwo nie musi być ciężkim obowiązkiem, ale przyjemnością i zabawą. To książka mówiąca w jaki sposób zmienić świat dziecka tak, aby zajęło się ono sobą w kreatywny i ciekawy sposób. Książka o tym, aby dawać przykład pogody ducha i weselenia się  z tego, co mamy, a nie ciagłej pogoni za wszelkimi dobrami, które można kupić i które umilą czas naszym pociechom.
Lektura ta dała mi dużo do myślenia i mam nadzieję, że wiele z tego, co przeczytałam uda mi się wcielić w życie.

‘Aleph’/’Alef’, Paulo Coelho EN//PL

Aleph

EN
‘Aleph’ by Paulo Coelho is a magical book about a man who loses his faith and asks his spiritual guru for help . The Master seeing the man’s inner torment advises him to set off on a journey in order to rediscover the meaning of existence. This man in need of spiritual renewal is the writer himself. Paulo tells an absorbing and fascinating story about the trip on the Trans-Siberian Railway that changes his life.
At the beginning of his expedition, the author meets a mysterious woman who insists on joining him to which he reluctantly agrees on. What is more, the fellow passengers are not very happy about his decision as well. She is the cause of many misunderstandings and quarrels, which begins to irritate the author. However, when he spends more time with the woman, it turns out that they were somehow bonded in the distant past. They learn more about their relationship when their souls go back a hundred years during mystical voyages. Then a new story emerges of a coward who fails to protect his lover. 

Paulo finally discovers what is really bothering him and how he can regain his inner peace.

The story shows that a man can achieve happiness when he is capable of understanding himself, learning from his own experience and ‘following his path’. This book is a journey, a trip across Russia which happens to be a journey into the author’s soul and which drives readers to reflect on their own past.

I really recommend it.

PL
„Alef” Paula Coelho to magiczna książka opowiadającą o człowieku, który pragnąc pokonać kryzys wiary prosi o pomoc swego duchownego guru. Mistrz widząc wewnętrzną udrękę mężczyzny radzi mu wyruszyć w drogę po to, by mógł on odnaleźć zagubiony sens egzystencji. Człowiekiem poszukującym duchowej odnowy jest sam pisarz, który snuje swą ciekawą i intrygującą opowieść o  podróży trans-syberyjską koleją, która zmienia jego życie.
Na początku swej wyprawy Pulo napotyka tajemniczą kobietę, która upiera się dołączyć do niego, na co niechętnie przystaje on i grupa ludzi mu towarzyszących. Jest ona powodem wielu nieporozumień i kłótni, co zaczyna irytować autora.
Jednak, gdy spędzają ze sobą więcej czasu, okazuje się, że podróżniczkę oraz pisarza w dalekiej przeszłości  łączyła zaskakującą więź, o której oboje dowiadują się wchodząc w stan, przenoszący ich dusze w minione lata….Z jego opowieści wyłania się nowa, odległa historia ukazująca Paula jako tchórza nie potrafiącego walczyć o miłość i życie ukochanej. Nagle nieznajoma kobieta staje się mu bardzo droga i bliska sercu.
Podczas tych duchowych seansów, Paulo dowiaduje się wreszcie, co tak naprawdę go nurtuje. Dociera do niego, co jest niezbędne, aby mógł odzyskać pogodę ducha.
Opowieść ta ukazuje, że człowiek jest szczęśliwszy, gdy potrafi zrozumieć  siebie, uczy się z historii swego życia oraz „podążą swoja ścieżką”. Jest to książką – podróż. Podróż poprzez Rosję, która okazuje się wędrówką w głąb duszy autora i która napędza czytelników do zastanowienia się nad własną przeszłością.

Polecam!